Listen to what makes your heartbeat quicken

Danielle Laporte is a genius and this post on forgetting about time management and listening to what gives you a rush is a great reminder. Sometimes you just need to get out of your own way.

Questions to remember:

From Havi:

In no particular order…

• If I were to rewrite the weekend that resulted in being here now, what would I do differently?
• What are the parts that I would do again?
• What does this remind me of? Any elements that feel familiar?
• Who else has played my opposite role in this situation in the past?
• What’s my pattern here? And am I doing it now? Yes, yes I am.
• What are my options now for consciously and lovingly interrupting this pattern?
• Any scared parts of me from then who need attention and/or safe rooms?
• Talk to the resentment. What does it know?
• Hello, “You’ll Never Get Out Of Bed Again”. You must be one of my fuzzball monsters. What do you need in order to feel safe?
• Would you like to do some coloring?
• What am I sorry about?
• I forgive myself for __________ because ___________.
• Another person I want to forgive is __________ because ____________.
• What’s the most unexpected thing I could do right now that would still feel safe, supportive and congruent?
• If I had stronger, clearer, healthier boundaries, I’d probably…
• The version of me who’s really clear about sovereignty — what would she do?
• Slightly Future Me has already resolved this. What does she wish I knew?
• Without negating the legitimacy of the hard and painful bits, what is useful about this experience?
• What am I learning from this Time in Bed that is going to serve me well with my mission? Note! I don’t have to know what my mission is in order to answer this question.
• What’s next?
• What needs to change in my kingdom?

Someone else’s guiding principles.

http://www.gwenbell.com/the-skinny/2011/8/26/the-skinny-guiding-principles.html

1. Arrange your life in such a way that you can practice.

2. When writing, tell from experience.

3. What we say matters.

4. We get one of each moment. No do-overs, no repeats, so it’s best to live on purpose.

5. The body has 9 wounds. It’s each person’s responsibility to dress their own wounds.

6. The only way through is through.

7. The only way through is to live always brokenhearted, open to what arises.

8. Alignment comes from knowing yourself.

 

What are my guiding principles?

Autumnal

This might be EXACTLY how I feel about Fall. the hovering, the closeness, the almost. Gorgeous.

3 Simple Rules

A quick reminder:

http://yfrog.com/h3ttpddj

Always test, always push, this is not a dress rehearsal

Just Do It

I’m participating in Reverb10 this month. In the words of the creators it’s an “annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.”

I’m starting a few days late but I’m going to do the first three today to catch up. Better late than never right?

Day 2:

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t consider myself a writer and I’m ok with that. I’ve enjoyed journaling on and off since I was a pre-teen but it’s never been something I’ve felt especially compelled to do. That being said, excuses keep me from writing every day. Getting too far into my head and staying there puts me in automatic writer’s block. I start to analyze and criticize my work before it’s even on the page and, more often than not, I stop practically before I start.

To eliminate this I could take the leap, trust myself, not be so attached to the outcome and just do it. I think that’s going to be a pretty big theme throughout this excericise….

Groove & Exuberance

 

http://www.myspace.com/josh_englandteam

I’m participating in Reverb10 this month. In the words of the creators it’s an “annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.”

I’m starting a few days late but I’m going to do the first three today to catch up. Better late than never right?

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

My word for this year is GROOVE. Google tells me that Groove has a few different shades of meaning and my year encapsulates all of them. When it means: “a long narrow furrow cut either by a natural process (such as erosion) or by a tool.” I think of work and how it has eroded, changed, so much of who I am; more aspects than I’m even aware of I think. Sitting in a chair 8 hours a day has physically changed my body composition and my movements. My hips are always tight and my eyes always tired. I told myself and my boss when they hired me that I could commit two years of my life to them. And yet here I am coming up on my third anniversary. Another definition is: “rut: a settled and monotonous routine that is hard to escape.” Please cue work talk again. The monotony of this job, the guaranteed paycheck, the lenient work policy and, who am I kidding, the fear of change has made it all too easy to stay. So here I am, in a 40 hour workweek, feeling slightly like Edward Norton in Fight Club (am I dreaming or awake?). The days of work run together, I’ve forgotten if I called that person or paid that bill because it’s all too similar to differentiate. This is the negative connotation of groove that I reluctantly embrace. On bad days this is where my thoughts dwell and I am overcome with fear that I don’t have the courage to pull myself up and out of this groove.

The final definition of groove is: “Furrow: hollow out in the form of a furrow or groove; ‘furrow soil’ “. This one makes me happy. This reminds me of planting seeds in March and April with the kids and anticipating what our hard work will reveal in the months to come. I think of putting things in their place and creating routines and order, of putting solid roots down or creating a strong base. Tobias and I celebrated our first year of marriage, our second year of living together, and our third year of being together this year. As of now, my beautiful step-children have lived with me for longer than they haven’t. We have created a family this year, more so than before. We have created traditions and made memories. We have worked hard to sow our seeds and will reap the benefits.

 My word for 2011 is Exuberance. The years are passing faster and faster and I am taking less and less time to acknowledge my blessings and be thankful. Work, bills, money, relationships, LIFE! piles up so quickly and I get so caught up in worries and what-ifs that I let it all slip past me. Next year I will appreciate it all. I know that I won’t like everything that happens but that’s not the point of exuberance for me. I want to embrace the act of living! Embrace the change and the hard and the stuck and the hurt and the love and the laughs and the fun. When I’m stressed or worried or angry or scared my go-to fix has been to get in my car and play music so loud I can’t hear myself think, or work-out so hard I can focus on nothing but completing my reps, or put on a movie and live someone else’s life for two hours. Not next year. Next year I will sit with my whole messy wonderful life and I will be thankful for all of it, even the parts that suck.

Fall Creeping In

Wow. I blinked and summer flew past me. Gone are the nights spent outside in tank tops. Gone are the sweat-while-standing afternoons. Gone are the iced-coffee for breakfast mornings because it’s already too hot to turn on the stove.

Now we have the cozy warm dusk enveloping our house around 7:30pm. We have snuggles on the couch reading stories before bed instead of playing outside until exhaustion. We have the stove on every night for dinner. We have suggestions of hot cocoa from little ones and long sleeved pajamas.

I love this time of year. It satisfies me in ways no other season can. Like a warm, familiar blanket, the early sunsets cover our house and make it cozier (no more calm unfortunately but cozier nonetheless). The dark outside our windows encourages me to turn on the kitchen light and play between the two. Now looking down at my mixing, now looking out into the blackness. In the same instant it makes me feel safe and adventerous. Snug in our little house I imagine the whole world in darkness, save the light from my little kitchen. I fancy I live on a farm with no neighbors for miles and no reason to leave, content in the life we’ve made in our little house. The next time I look up from my mixing bowl I see the darkness at my window as a blank slate. So many millions of opportunities await and this time of year is when I feel the most energized to start new projects and take on new responsibilties. Maybe it’s the inherent Back-To-School mentality still clinging to me but September has always felt like the time for new beginnings.

I got a few more things on my To Do List completed but I was horrible at documenting any of it. I wore my favorite two dresses almost weekly. I got a pedicure a month ago with my wonderful mother and aunt and my toes are still strawberry red. I drank Gin and Chartreuse and I’m just now reaping the rewards of our tomato garden (a tomato tart is coming soon!). I made lemon cucumber pickles from here, the walnut cake from this lovely lady (sans the jam), and this jam (that I love in theory but in practice turned out too jammy for me. Next time I’ll cook it less).

I also made these beautiful treats. I used sour cream instead of creme fraiche and demura instead of muscavado sugar. They turned out perfectly and I wouldn’t change a thing.

This was in high rotation to accompany all the crunchy vegetables from the Farmer’s Market and I made tomatillo salsa for the first time ever and I’m now obsessed. Why did I wait so long?

Whew. That feels better. Now that I’ve caught myself up a little bit, it’s onwards and upwards! I’ll keep my camera closer this time around.

Stay Sweet

Progress and coffee

Just a quick note to say I’m playing hard and trying to make the most of the fleeting summer days. It’s been hot and sticky in Portland for the last few days and (since I’m a good Portlander) I’ve been complaining about it to anyone who will listen. Secretly though? I love it. Absolutely adore it. My summer uniform consists of loose flowing skirts or dresses, tanktops, sunglasses, and bare feet. Every day I look forward to lying in front of a fan with a cold drink in one hand and a good book in the other; the heat as an excuse to lounge and cat-nap. Every night I sit on the porch and catch the warm breeze on my cheeks and watch the moon and stars peak out of the sunset. This little ritual helps me connect to my days, reminds me of summer’s brevity. Sunset is coming earlier every day. It’s an almost imperceptable shift, or perhaps it’s me looking forward to autumn, but at 10:00 pm when I catch a chill on the wind, it reminds me to drink in the heat and the sweat and the sun before they’re gone.

I’ve been waking up anxious on my weekends recently and I think it’s my inner clock telling me to hurry up and do summer things before it’s too late. There are so many things on my list that I still need to do, so many berries that still need to be eaten and so many grassy knolls that need to be napped upon. To jump start my mornings and simultaneously check something off my list, I made cold brewed iced coffee last weekend.

This is hardly a recipe but I’ll put it here for clarity sake:

Cold Brewed Coffee:

1/3 cup ground coffee

1/8 teaspoon salt

Add coffee grounds and salt into coffee vessel (I use my wonderful coffee press) and stir. Add at least 1.5 cups of water and stir again. Let sit for up to 12 hours but at least 8. After the resting period, strain and doctor it to your tastes.

I’d heard from multiple trusted sources that iced coffee tastes more pure than it’s hot counterpart, that the cold brew lends itself to a more nuanced flavor profile. I would have to agree. This was the perfect pick-me-up on Sunday when, at 8am, it was already 75º and only promising to get hotter. I added a touch of honey, a splash of almond milk, and three ice cubes and walked out into the garden to soak up the sun. I plan on making this every weekend until at least mid September. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be next to the fan, this drink in hand.

Stay Sweet

A successful Improvisation with Butternut Squash

I’ve got no picture for you today because, well, photographing lentil stew is tricky business and my limited photography skills were no match for this tasty! refreshing! ugly! dish.

    Over a week ago my Sister-in-Law brought home two big butternut squash (squashes?).
(I looked the plural of squash up on WikiAnswers and it looks like they’re confused too. I’m going to go with squashes because it’s just more fun to say. Yes? yes.) Anyway, they lounged on our counter looking quite out of place in all their autumnal glory, surrounded by summer berries and vegetables. I love butternut squash but right now right now I’m more interested in using the pattypans, zucchini, or yellow crooknecks that are exploding out of every Farmer’s Market stand. But I can’t just leave the butternut to rot can I? No I can’t.
    After some half-hearted thinking and not much research (like I said, not so interested) I decided to go with my fool proof favorite galette. This beauty is in high rotation during the fall months and is just plain wonderful. It takes a bit of prep and a hot oven but the results are worth it.

So into the kitchen I went. I diced up the butternut squash (I leave the skin on and then cut it off after roasting, does anyone else do this?), threw it on a baking sheet, olive-oiled it, salted it, and threw it in a 400º oven for 20 minutes. Halfway through my workout I came inside to check on the squash’s progress. I pulled a piece off the sheet, let it cool, popped it in my mouth…and cringed.

It was the saltiest of the saltiest.

It tasted like the ocean.

Butternut squash fail.

I left the pan on the counter to cool and finished up my workout, distracted by how to save dinner. My husband, Tobias, is the throw-things-together-in-a-pan-and-make-them-taste-good wiz while I am a rigid recipe user kind of girl, so I pulled him in the kitchen and asked for his wisdom.

What we came up with blends the intense saltiness with creamy lentils and heady spices. A little crunch from the walnuts and zing from the lime juice makes this a fresh summer friendly dinner that satisfied the whole family immensely.

Curried Butternut Squash & Lentil Stew

Original recipe

1 Butternut squash

3 Tablespoons olive oil

1 onion sliced in half moons

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 cup lentils

1 Tablespoon yellow curry

1 Tablespoon ground cumin

3/4 cup chopped walnuts

lime juice to taste

salt*

1). Dice squash into 2” squares (as mentioned above, I leave the skin on and then peel it off once it’s roasted but if you’d rather peel it first, use a Y vegetable peeler or a sharp knife). Pour olive oil and (tons! if you want to be like me!) of salt on the squash and roast in a 400º oven for 20 minutes (start checking for done-ness at 15).

2). Meanwhile, put 1 tablespoon olive oil, onion and garlic in a medium-low saute pan and let caramelize, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes.

3). Also meanwhile, Add lentils to pot of bowling water and let simmer for 20 minutes until cooked a little more than al dente

4). Pour lentils into a huge serving bowl, add the curry and cumin and mix well. Add the now caramelized onions, salty salty squash, and chopped walnuts and mix until evenly distributed.

5). Serve with lime wedges that people can squeeze to their heart’s content.

*note: If you choose not to over-salt your squash like I did, I would recommend salting your onions and the water for the lentils.